When I was a self-expressed 4 year old, Heather was my best friend. Being two of the few younger kids on the block, we played together all of the time. We read our favorite books, created art projects, and in the long summer months played outdoor games, shared lunches and explored the deep, deep gardens in the park-like backyard of her Grandma Peterson's house. Heather made me laugh, and with long blond hair, was pretty cute, to boot.When February rolled around I asked my mom "what do you give your friends for Valentines Day?" Under her supervision we made sugar cookies and with friendly confidence I walked the plateful of heart shaped tokens, all by myself, across the street. Heather's uncle Gene answered the door.
"Are those for me?" he inquired. "Well, I suppose you could have some if Heather wants to share," I replied. "Oh," he continued, "they're for your GIRLFRIEND" he teased. "Well, no, I made them for Heather," I stammered back. "Well," he said, peering down from four feet above, "she's a GIRL isn't she?" "Yes," I agreed. "And she's your FRIEND, right? So that makes her your GIRLFRIEND!" Before I could process his logic he called out, "Heather, your BOYFRIEND is here! He has valentines for you! Maybe if you're lucky you'll get a kiss with those cookies!"
Like a deer in the headlights, first I was stunned, and then I bolted back across the road to safety. And like the crumbly cookies, I think I left my fragile heart behind. It occurs to me now, 30+ years later, when it comes to showing affection for someone first, I've never dared to cross the street again.
2 comments:
Jed- this is hilarious and demonstrates very clearly what we will do when motivated by a pure and simple crush. Call it love or what you may...
I remember a few early experiences of being on doorsteps awkwardly thinking to myself, "I feel exactly like Barney Fife in pursuit of Thelma Lou" (only he was better-dressed than I).
Thanks, -Loren
I've been thinking that you are probably in Nauvoo about now and enjoying the peace there. You'll have to give a full report, including seeing the Wicked witches in Kansas. Wish I could have joined your wagon train.
I have also been thinking about your last couple of posts. I think you are amazing, not only as a person with many talents, but just in the fact that you would be willing to share such feelings.
The great thing is you are not alone. Look at all of us out there in our 30+ years just trying to overcome our fears of one form or another, single or not. We are here to support each other, and that we'll do. I'm collecting ideas to write a book about it sometime (hopefully soon). We'll have to chat about it sometime.
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